Marriage Retreat: Love that Lasts

  

 
 This past weekend Dan and I attended our third Bethlehem marriage retreat at the Oak Ridge Hotel & Conference Center in Chaska, MN. We have always enjoyed this special time away to focus on each other and the One who is the center and foundation of our marriage. It is also always a great time to meet new couples and re-connect with other couples in our church family. This year we debated whether or not we should attend because we knew Charlie was too little to leave behind, but we decided it was important for us to put our marriage first, even if that meant bringing a 2 month old along. So, yes, the retreat looked a little different this year, but it was definitely still a blessing to our family.

In addition to having our little one with us and the challenge that brings, I slipped down some stairs and landed on my big toe the day before the retreat, hindering my mobility quite a bit, while Dan developed some sort of flu the first night and next morning of the retreat. What a mess we were! Dan is feverish while I'm hobbling around with a 2 month old in my arms. We sadly had to miss the first night's session as well as the next morning's session for Dan to rest and for Charlie to eat... but the Lord definitely restored us and made up for our lost first half of the retreat in the second half. Charlie did exceptionally well- happy most of the time, smiling and cooing at strangers, sleeping through sessions, and only waking once in the night to eat. He is definitely our little social baby and loves new people and places.

Speakers Gary & Betsy Ricucci

 We were blessed to have speakers Gary & Betsy Ricucci from Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, Maryland (Betsy is C.J. Mahaney's sister), authors of  Love that Lasts:When Marriage Meets Grace. While we were only able to attend the last two sessions, Gary & Betsy so impacted us through not only their talks, but through their obvious love for one another after 34 years of marriage. I haven't had time to really meditate on what we heard this past weekend, yet, but here are a few things and (re-phrased) quotes that stood out to me:

1. Romance is an expression of God's love. God is always showing his love for and mercy to his bride (us): God is always showing his love and mercy to us, even in the hardest times of life, because we always deserve worse- the very wrath of God.

2. Think outside the box of what "romance" means to you. "Romantic love is a pleasurable, learned response to the way your partner looks and feels, to the things your partner says and does, and to the emotional experiences you share. It is a keen desire to work for the beloved's happiness, no matter how much effort is required."- Ed Wheat

3. Some of the "not so little foxes that spoil the vine":
    a. ignorance- lack of training or example
    b. ingratitude- failure to appreciate goodness and mercy received, making comparisons
    c. spiritual neglect- breaking the first great commandment
    d. selfishness- indifference, laziness, pursuing romance to get rather than give
    e. busyness- failure to put first things first, showing love and mercy elsewhere
    f. bitterness- disappointment, resentment, resignation
    g. fear of man- pride, embarrassment, "self-consciousness"

4. "Marriage is death to privacy, independence, childhood's home and family, death to unilateral decisions and the notion that there is only one way of doing things, death to self. when these little deaths are gladly and wholeheartedly accepted, new life - the glory of sacrificial love which leads to perfect union- is inevitable." Elisabeth Elliott

5. No one else's sin against me (i.e. my spouse's) can ever compare to my sin against God. If He has forgiven us for our sin against Him, we can forgive others' sin against us. 

I am so incredibly blessed by my husband and do not deserve him in the least. I praise God for our imperfect, yet growing marriage He has given us. We pray Charlie sees the Gospel in our marriage and in our family and grows up to have a Gospel-founded, Christ-centered marriage himself one day.